She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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