Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
