will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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