Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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