You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize