shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
