And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you never un-have a 4some
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
