Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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