the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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