I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
