Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
