Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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