the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
