so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
