I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
