Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
