your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
