This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize