She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize