Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
