dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
