glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
