Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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