Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
