if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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