would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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