we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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