I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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