I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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