Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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