He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
