the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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