I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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