I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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