In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
