just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
