Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What drink are we having for lunch?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize