When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
do nipples grow back?
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