So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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