it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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