girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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