how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
