i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
