Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
