so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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