Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize