it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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