If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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