I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize