Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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