Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
