Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
