if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
