I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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