oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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