You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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