i just wanna soil my oats bro
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
