Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
worst night to have a conscience
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
