True but thats because hes a fetus.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
