I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
