help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
