Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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