Will you blow on my dice?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
