Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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