walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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