o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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