I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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