thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
