this just has baby written all over it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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