Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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