Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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