So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize