my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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