I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hippo gnu deer
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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